Top 10 Lies

I know we all know that television isn't real.  Even "reality" t.v. isn't completely real.  Magazine pictures aren't completely real.  Movies, plots, scenery, costumes, etc... we all realize on some level that there is a line between fantasy and reality.  But seeing the fantasy over and over and over helps us blur the line.  We begin seeing fantasy as a possible reality.  Something others are living but not us.  We start wanting to be and do and have what never existed to begin with.

There are a plethora of these fantasies bombarding our senses daily.  I would just like to un-blur the lines of what I consider to be the Top 10.  These, in my opinion, are the most damaging...and the ones most readily believed.

10.  The #10 Lie we are spoon-fed and lap up is that rude is funny.  Sarcasm, wit, clever one-liners... I enjoy them as much as anyone else.  In fact, the wittier the film/show, the more I like it.  But it's because it's scripted and the receiver of the rude-but-funny one-liner doesn't crumple or punch or retaliate.  It's because, when the teenager rolls their eyes, it's at the exact right moment and the parent responds for humor more than for reality.  Talking about someone behind their back, snarky comments, witty words that make fun, picking on the little guy, bad-mouthing the authority... these things can be hilarious in the "right" setting with just the right facial expressions.  It gets a laugh every time.  But in reality, I would hope my kids NEVER talk like that.  It's disrespectful and rude.  In reality, rude is not funny.

9.  The #9 Lie is that smoking is cool.  Now, I realize most of us know this isn't the case.  Our generation and more-so the one coming up after us is acutely aware of the dangers of smoking.  However, when we watch a film, we see the "bad boy" smoking a cigarette and it just makes him look sexier.  It's a symbol of rebellion.  It completes the "street-cred" outfit.  No matter how far we've come, Baby, smoking is still depicted as a cool kid's thang.  Especially in any foreign flick.

8.  The #8 Lie is right up there with smoking.  Drinking alcohol.  Now, hear me.  I'm not saying that drinking alcohol is a fantasy.  I am saying that, on television and in movies, drinking a glass of wine has become classy.  It's what people who have "arrived" drink together to celebrate or relax or simply to go with their classy meal.  This is fine.  Except when it's not.  Not everyone is able to live in that reality.  Some of us have the disease of alcoholism running rampant in our genetic veins and must stay away from alcohol.  So we watch these classy, successful, beautiful people drinking their expensive wine and we start to feel like, if we were classy and successful and beautiful, we could do it too...meaning, because we cannot drink alcohol, we will never reach that elite status.  Poppycock.

7.  The #7 Lie is a doozy.  I almost rated this higher but didn't because there are things more detrimental,  Sex.  Sex is a beautiful, wonderful gift from God that is meant to be shared between husband and wife.  I'm not preaching.  I'm being rational and speaking from the heart of a mama who doesn't want her children hurt.  On film, sex seems so right.  Two people who love each other must express that love in some way and sex seems completely appropriate.  In real life, sex never washes off.  Once you have sex with someone, you can never take it back.  I can only speak for the female gender but I'm pretty sure it applies to woman and man alike... there's no such thing as casual sex.  Casual sex is a symptom of something damaged.  You are afraid to commit, you are looking for love, you do not think highly of yourself, you are trying to be something you are not.  You will still carry the experience with you forever.  Unless you continue.... then you become numb.  That will be detrimental to any lasting relationship you find.  Sex on film is...well...sexy.  Film doesn't cover all the bases.

6.  The #6 Lie we are so ready to believe is that money makes us happy.  Now, again, like with smoking, I know we all know this isn't true.  We see movie after movie after movie about the rich guy losing...poor guy winning.  Great.  And then we see a commercial telling us we MUST have this latest item.  Advertisements rely on the fact that nothing will ever be enough.  Advertisements bank on convincing us that contentment is in fact the fantasy and that buying is the reality.  This, my friends, has gotten America in the pickle it's in today.  (Not just that but...)  Money, purchases, things, stuff, products, materials... we need none of it.  None.

We're half-way there.

5.  The #5 Lie is that only skinny is beautiful.  When did that happen?  Skinny is fine if that's how God made you.  Fat is only not fine when it's unhealthy.  But beauty?  That comes in so many shapes and forms and colors and sizes and sounds.  Beauty is all heart.  I'm pretty sure no one knows how big someone's heart is, physically speaking.  On film, even when a show is ABOUT fat not being beautiful, the heroin is "done-up"....perfect skin, hair, clothes, etc... It's physical appearance that matters, or so the lie goes.

4.  The #4 Lie running around out there is that religion is boring.  This one is a no-brainer.  If you have faith, then you know faith itself is the biggest adventure of all.  You want an adrenaline rush?  Trust God more than you trust yourself.  Let God be your seatbelt.  It's crazy and chaotic and so not boring.

3.  The #3 Lie being shoved down society's throat is about divorce.  The lie tells us that divorce can be casual and healthy and friendly and will only truly affect the two going through it. Now, I do not believe divorce is wrong.  But I also don't buy into that lie.  I believe it's sad and hurtful and hard.  On film, people divorce because they "fell out of love" or "were just better as friends" or maybe they just got tired of each other.  They get divorced because they "had different dreams/goals/visions" or they both "changed so much" or maybe they just realized there was more fun to be had out there without being tethered to the old ball-n-chain.  Divorce should be an absolute last resort.  We are allowing our kids to grow up believing that divorce can be casual and friendly and even the "better" option.  It hurts for generations.  It must happen some times.  I know that.  But it is never casual.  It is never something that is done on a whim.  And it doesn't correct mistakes.

2.  The #2 Lie that I've seen over and over is "Love at First Sight".  This does not exist.  Unless you're speaking of the love we have for all mankind and that exists without sight.  When you look across the crowded room and lock eyes with that perfect person, what you are experiencing is physical attraction.  Possibly a magnetic connection.  Maybe you recognize on a metaphysical plane a likeness with this other person.  It is not love...yet.  Love must be grown.  It must be nurtured and cared for and committed to.  It is a decision far more than it is an emotion.  The emotion comes from making the decision to love someone.  Love will not always feel warm and fuzzy.  Love does not happen in a split second.

And the number one lie?

1.  The #1 Lie...the biggie...the one that I find myself correcting over and over and over with my own children is this.  Love and acceptance are the same thing.  NO THEY ARE NOT!!  I will always love my children.  Always.  Always.  Always.  If they murder someone, I will love them.  I will not, however, help them bury the body.  I will visit them in prison.  Because I love them.  Love means NOT accepting anything less that what is best for those we in fact do love.  If love and acceptance were the same thing, I wouldn't have cause to discipline.  Talk to me however you feel like.  I love you so it's okay.  Bully the other kids at school.  I love you so go ahead.  Stay out all night with that strange group of kids.  I love you so it's okay.  In the movies, love means saying, "I'm sorry I judged you.  I love you just as you are."  And that's the ideal, isn't it.  This is so clever because there's so much good and right about those two sentences.  We are NOT to judge.  Ever.  Love always.  I can love deeply.  I can love someone who has beat his wife.  Truly.  But accept that lifestyle for her?  No, sir.  Love doesn't mean everything's okay.  It means, I'll be right beside you even when things are not okay.

And that's my Tuesday rant.  Live the reality!!  :)