Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Battle

The last two posts were about the "Stay-at-Home-Mom" and the "Working Mom". This one is very simple. It's about being a mom. Whether you work outside the home or not, you do your best for your children. Moms are always thinking about their children, no matter where they are at any given moment in the day. The goal of a mother is to prepare her children for all they may encounter.

Some moms smother their children. This isn't the healthiest treatment, but I get it. They fear for them. They ache at the thought of their children hurting. But, motherhood is a battle and we must arm ourselves against that temptation to hold on too tight. We must let our children fall and learn how to pick themselves back up.

Some moms ignore their children. This isn't the healthiest treatment, but I get it. They want their kids to be independent, resilient, and self-sufficient. We can't give into this temptation either. Loving our children takes time and patience and me MUST invest both. Remaining aloof will only teach our children how NOT to trust...and they will not know how to be loved.

Some moms let their kids do whatever they want anytime they want. Again, I get it. We want our kids to be happy and we hate causing them heartache. However, this is another no-no. Kids respond to boundaries and will learn to discern ONLY if we've taught them discipline. Otherwise, they will continue to run amok in adulthood and we will have only ourselves to blame for it.

One thing we moms will do without a second thought...fight for our children. We will go to battle and WIN for the safety of our children and we will make no excuses for it. Moms are in battle daily. We must never give in. We must continue to stay the course!

The Field

My last post was about the wonders of the "Stay-At-Home-Mom". Not this one. Let's talk about those "Working-Moms"! Moms who work outside the home get a bad wrap. They are given superior looks by moms who do not work. They are assumed absent by their kids' teachers. They are labeled in such a fashion as to say, "you don't think enough of your family to stay at home and give your kids the attention they need!"

Good grief. Let's just take a close look at what these moms do. They get up extra early so they can get their kids ready for school and out the door. They work hard all day long in an environment created for men and push thoughts like, "Does my daughter still have that tummy ache? Is she nervous about her test? Did my son take that rock to school after I told him not to? What in the world am I going to make for supper?", out of their minds in order to prove to their boss they are worthy of that paycheck. They NEED that paycheck in order to pay for the kids' soccer, girlscouts, designer backpacks, fieldtrips, camp, piano lessons, etc... She's working FOR her kids.

Then, she must come home. She is tired and often frustrated... but she must muster the energy to listen to all the drama of her daughter's day, force her kids to stay on task with their homework, make supper, straighten the house, make sure all the necessities are washed, and have energy for her husband as well.

The "working mom" deserves a medal. She is in the field...she is dodging landmines, packing ammo, and praying every minute that her kids are okay. She is doing it BECAUSE she loves her children. Next time you want to judge a woman for dropping her sweeties off at the daycare, try mentally spending a day in her high-heeled shoes. You'll need a foot massage by bedtime!

Punch that clock, "Working Moms". Don't give up. Hug your babies and sing to them in their sleep...they know you love them and they will thank you for the sacrifices you've made for them!!

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Trenches

Why does a person have to declare themselves one thing or another? "What do you do for a living?" Well, if you mean, 'how do I earn money?', I don't. My husband does. Uh-oh. I can see the Respect Meter just dropped a point. But, you recover quickly and ask another question out of social correctness; "Oh. A stay-at-home-mom! How wonderful! Do you enjoy it?" Are you kidding me? I'm supposed to say yes. Right? If I say no, it implies that I don't like my kids or my life...that I'm bitter and resent my children for taking away my dreams...bla bla bla.

Well, let's see. At any given moment, I may be cleaning poop off the floor; scraping peanut butter out of the carpet; breaking up a fight; pouring juice; wiping a bottom; cleaning clutter; washing clothes; ridding the house of some mystery-smell; answering questions such as, "but, why can't I have a baby sister?", "why can't we have hot dogs for breakfast?" "why did YOU get to have a piece of chocolate?"; always having company in the bathroom; finding all lost toys; entertaining a crowd while showering; and having to lock myself in the closet to enjoy a two-minute phone conversation. Do I enjoy it?

And let's just discuss this charming phrase "stay-at-home-mom". Who stays at home? Are you a stay-at-the-office-employee? Probably. You probably sit at your desk until time to come home. Let me explain something about the "stay-at-home-mom". We don't. Time to go to school! Time to go buy groceries! Time to go to the library! Time for your doctor's appointment! Time to take you to your friend's house! Time for ball practice! Time for the park! Time to pick up your sister from school! Time for this! Time for that! WHEN DO I STAY HOME?! Do I enjoy it?

And that's the day time. Here's a newsflash...I don't clock out at 5:00. Supper. Homework. Baths. Bedtime stories. Bedtime. Bedtime again. STAY IN BED! Middle-of-the-night adventures...fevers, vomit, nightmares, accidents, tummy-aches, ear infections...Morning time again! Wake up and make breakfast! Do I enjoy it?

Does a soldier enjoy all night in the trenches under heavy fire knowing that any minute may be his last? Probably not. But he believes in what he's fighting for. He sees the big picture and is passionate about results. Me too. This world is big and ominous for little ones. There are obstacles they can't imagine just waiting for them. I see the big picture and I'm passionate about doing all I can to prepare them. Learn these Bible verses so that you are armed! Learn the ABC's so that you are academically prepared! Learn these table manners so that you are socially acceptable! Learn morals! Learn ethics! Learn basics! Learn that you are loved more than life and that this home is ALWAYS yours! UNCONDITIONALLY!!! Do I enjoy it?...Sometimes I don't enjoy the minutes...but I absolutely love the job! It is the greatest honor in the world. There are no promotions in this position...I'm already at the highest possible level.

Be proud of yourselves, Mommies! You're in the trenches and you're doing great!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Blocked

Argh! I want to BLOG!!!!! But, I have writer's block. It's insanely frustrating. The block is often lifted in the middle of the night...but I'm too tired to get up and type. Boo! I thought of a few topics last night but after typing a few paragraphs on each, I deleted them for their own sake. Boring. Inane. Don't believe me? One was about getting my hair done...the other was about needing to be around enablers.

I guess the enabler one is okay, but I couldn't form my thoughts in any coherent fashion. The point of it was more of confession...dirty little secret. I like to be told I'm pretty. If I say, "I am so ugly," I like for there to be someone in the room who will step up and say, "Oh, no you're not! You're beautiful!" If I say, "I'm so fat," there sure better be someone close by who will take the bait and say, "You are NOT fat! Not at ALL!" And the list goes on. I'm a confidence-boosting junkie. I like validation with even the simplest of things...and it doesn't even have to come from someone I know.

There. That was my brilliant topic and moment of truth last night. I don't know why I couldn't express it. What IS writer's block? Is it a literal block in the temporal lobe of the brain? Does anyone know? Is it emotional? Physical? I've heard of writers who require a specific environment to be able to write...is it environmental?...or just mental? It's a mystery to me. I guess that's the case ultimately. If anyone knew, it would be remedied easily.

Relaxation must be an aide in the solution. I have written the most fascinating books, letters, thank you notes, prayers, and blogs in the middle of the night. None of them make it out of my head. Perhaps I should sleep with a mini-recorder and speak into it all of my brilliance throughout the night. No. I fear that listening to it all in the morning would bring my brilliance the dullness it truly possesses. That's it, isn't it? My brilliance lives in my mind (someone, any enabler in the room, feel free to jump up and say, "No! You're brilliant for real!").

Well, I'm sure I will continue to fight the block. In fact, I plan to just use this blog as catharsis until something brilliant really does appear. Get read to glean, people. It's going to be in there somewhere at some point!!

The Fabulous Five

The Fabulous Five
We strive to make memories that will always lead us into the Light