Being Luke's Mama

As many of you know, our Luke is a highly gifted 6-year-old.  For the past six years (almost 7), I've wanted to share what he is all about but have felt very awkward.  It always sounds like bragging when I say something and I'm not bragging...just sharing.  And why am I sharing?  Because when you witness something amazing, it's human nature to want to talk about it.

I want to talk about Luke.  Please know that I'm not bragging.  What this child knows and is capable of has nothing to do with me.  He came into the world already amazing.  It's all God.

To begin this all-about-Luke journey, I'd just like to post what it's like to be the mom of a genius.  It may not be what you think.  It certainly isn't what I thought it would be.  I was thinking along the lines of being amazed all the time and never worrying about his future.  Not so much.

Being Luke's Mama means forcing myself to listen.  He talks all the time.  And it's not always interesting.  He feels the need to explain every detail of his creative process.  While everyone is amazed by his understanding of formulas and engineering, I must sit and listen to how he arrived at his conclusions.  Folks, you may think this would just be so "wow", but it's really so "get to the point so I can get up and go do something". 

It means knowing that he will never see, do, understand, want, or be like other children.  He is different in almost every aspect.  And as a mother, I want my children to fit into a circle where they can feel encouraged and motivated by their peers.  Who are Luke's peers?  There's a handful of adults that Luke talks to.  How do you arrange play-dates to the park with adults who work for a living and are too big for the monkey-bars? 

Luke wants to do things the other kids do.  For our Family Night one time he gave us a magic show.  It was wonderful.  Phoenix got a Magic Kit for his birthday (Christmas?) one year and both of the boys have had no end of fun with it.  So we all sat in the living room and watched as Luke the Magnificent (complete with cape) performed visually illusive wonders.  We also sat patiently while he then explained how each trick worked.  He doesn't like illusions.  He doesn't like things not appearing as they should.

Luke doesn't like phrases.  I mean the everyday phrases we use like "Hurry...get on the stick" or "Run like the wind" or "You've got the same pants to get glad in"....One day I told him and our neighbor friend, "I'll be back in just a minute" and Luke leaned over to her and said, "Mama doesn't mean a real minute.  It will be significantly longer than 60 seconds."  One night at dinner, Maggie said, "....it was a piece-a-cake..."  Luke said, "What does that mean?  What was a piece of cake?"  We explained it and he said, "I think making cake seems difficult.  Why would that phrase make sense?"

Being Luke's Mama means being sensitive to his hyper-awareness.  He is like an emotions-meter.  He picks up the vibe of whatever room we're in.  At a funeral, he will crawl up into a ball in the corner and cry incessantly.  At the fair, he will jump and bound and giggle until I almost have to strap him to the cement and put tape over his mouth.  When there's arguing, he apologizes (even though he is not involved in the argument) over and over and over.  When someone is sick, he has to pat them and rub their back and their hair and keep bringing them things....glasses of orange juice, toys, books.

Luke is a hugger.  He has no physical-space boundaries and respects no one else's.  I've long ago stopped apologizing to strangers for Luke's hugs.  I've noticed something.  He's selective.  It's not a selection process I understand, but he doesn't hug everyone.  There's some emotional pull he feels and he hugs people who need it.  The cashier at Wal-Mart; the elderly man at the nursing home; the tired mommy in the grocery store, the hotel maid, the greasy homeless man.  And I let him.  Remember the stranger-danger we mamas all harped on for our children?  It somehow doesn't apply to Luke and I have had to learn to let him lead me in this.

He also hugs friends.  We've had the Luke-has-to-stop-hugging-and-kissing-people-in-Bible-class talk.  To him, a hug and a kiss are the proper hello to people he knows and likes.  There's nothing inappropriate in this action from him, although it can be quite awkward on the receiving end. 

Luke is loud.  He doesn't like loud noises, but often has no volume control himself.  It's unbelievable how loud he can be when he thinks he's speaking quietly.  We're working on this.  In the meantime, I must get over my urge to shh him all the time. 

Luke doesn't like a lot of movies or television.  When the kids want to watch t.v., he gets upset because he feels lonely...he wants to play.  It's not fair to make the other two do what Luke wants all the time so we're working on finding quiet activities he can do while staying in the same room with them watching their shows.  The toughest part of this is that he constantly says, "Pause it.  I need to tell you something."  He always needs to tell someone his current thoughts.  It gets old fast.

Being Luke's Mama means I pray hard all the time that he will not be made fun of or hurt at school for being smarter than everyone.  He cannot help it.  He is the way God made him.  But children are cruel.  How do I explain to him that it's a good thing to be so smart?

Luke is a blessing.  I'm glad to be his Mama.  It's hard.  And it's worth it.