Doing Christmas

Christmas. Bah humbug! Not really...but sometimes it's so overwhelming that I consider canceling it altogether. As if I could. But what if I could?! What if we could have a winter break from school and work that DIDN'T involve mad-dashes to the Dollar Store to buy gifts for kids' classes and teachers and whoever else the kids forgot to tell us needs gifts? A break that still focused on our Jesus, but NOT on bringing thousands of tinsel-laden objects in from the shed and filling the house with more clutter than was there before? What if there was a way to discontinue the greedy looks in the kids' eyes when they discover a new this-and-that to add to their Santa Wishlist?

Who am I kidding? It's not even about all that above. I'm just tired. I'm tired of everything having to be a little more perfect during the Christmas season. There must be Christmas-themed television programs that I have to find, preview, record and have ready that pleases EVERYONE. There have to be decorations that we MAKE, involving purchases, preparation, messes, and clean-up. What about wrapping? So. Sick. Of wrapping. I'm not really sick of it. I'm just tired.

Why do there have to be nightly finance-meetings between husband and wife...trying to figure out how much to spend on each other, each child; and where will we get the money to cover what's already been bought that we weren't planning on?! And, though you don't want it to be about the money, it just is. Every gift I buy falls short of what each receiver deserves. It's enough to make me want to give up. I don't really want to give up. I'm just tired.

And then some old advice pops in my head. "Kim, when you're feeling blue, serve someone." Serve someone? Isn't that what I'm DOING?! I serve meals, laundry, homework, extra this and extra that! I serve! I'm shopping, baking, signing, and arranging like a mad woman! I'm doing Christmas the best I can!

But am I serving...or simply doing? I do what is expected. I do what needs to be done. I do. So, what's the difference?

Well...serving is going the extra mile. It's considering the joy that my "doing" may bring to those I'm doing for. It's finding the Christmas movies on t.v. and then sitting down to watch them WITH the kids...watching their faces and listening to them laugh. It's finding something funny in those mad-dashes to the store that is creating a memory for each of my children to look back on in their Christmases to come. It's making decorating the house more about MAKING the mess than WORRYING about it. Letting the kids decorate so that they own these moments is more of a joy than worrying about vacuuming up every silver strand that covers the floor. It's about getting creative with the kids' letters to Santa. So, we don't have the money to buy these things....how else can we make their dreams gleam on Christmas morning?!

Doing is...well...doing. Serving is GIVING. It's giving the one thing everyone in my house wants most. Me. They want me to smile and enjoy this Holiday Season with them. It doesn't matter how many gifts rest beneath the perfectly decorated tree if I'm grumpy. It doesn't matter how many snow-flake cookies are iced and delivered to classrooms if I don't stay and enjoy the children I baked them for. They want me.

Moms, if it kills me, I'm going to do it this year. I'm going to ENJOY this Christmas...and that's my gift to my family.