Get Over Yourself

I am so sad right now. And mad. And soul-sick. Wait.  Let's go back to mad.  Yeah.  I'm mad.

This semester at Harding, I'm taking a wonderful class about family dynamics in our world. There are some aspects of it that make me glad to be a wife and mom. Some, however, just make me ill. One thing that has stuck in my mind for the past few weeks is how we treat the elderly here in America. It's pathetic. In almost every other country, developed and underdeveloped, the elderly are treasured and honored and cared for. In America, the elderly are, at most, just another person...and at the very least, a burden to be pawned off on some tired nurses in a "home" somewhere.

It used to be that when a person older than you walked into the room (older...not gray-headed necessarily or walking with a cane...older, period) you would stand and give up your chair for them. You'd open doors for them. You'd listen as long as they needed to talk. You'd give them preference and priority and respect!

But let's narrow it down. Let's talk about parents. It is shameful how parents are treated these days. I'm not talking about the years spent at home, growing up, learning your way. Those years could always use more respect, but it's not what makes me sick. I'm talking about after you move away and begin living "on your own". Little by little, your parents get shoved down on the priority list. Yes, you should call your parents often. Yes, you should make contact with them every holiday. Yes, you should do what you can to see to their needs. If they are "nasty" parents, meaning abusive to you and/or a danger to you, then seeking wise counsel about how to honor them is a good idea. But, honor them you must! We are COMMANDED to!

You do NOT get to speak disrespectfully to your parents. Being an adult does not make you a peer with your parents. You can hang out with them, visit with them, be so close with them...and still, they are your parents! If they fall on hard times, welcome them into your home indefinitely. Hard? Who cares. They wiped your bottom. They put up with your mouth. They forgave and forgave and forgave you. How long will they be on this earth? How can you best honor them?

There are three questions you MUST ask yourself every morning:
1. How can I best glorify God today?
2. How can I best meet my family's needs today?
3. How can I best honor my parents today?

Did you notice what you DON'T ask? How do I serve myself today? How can I get the most out of this day for myself? How can I make myself feel good? Myself? Myself? Myself?

Whatever happened to that long-ignored virtue self-sacrifice? Thinking of others? Humbling yourself? Giving respect to that person who raised you?

Yes, I'm angry. I've seen too much of it and I've literally spoken with parent after parent who will cry and blame themselves when their grown child is rude to them; takes advantage of them; feels entitled; and disrespects them. With the exception, as mentioned earlier, of those misguided parents who choose an abusive relationship with their children, parents are a gift. Treat them as such!

Many of you treat your boss better than your parent.  Many of you treat your dog better than your parent.  I have talked back to my parents before.  I've been rude to them, disrespected them, ignored them, and failed them.  And I found it's never too late to rectify that.  So, you may indeed call me self-righteous and call on times when you know I was a smart-mouth.  I will not argue. I found it's never too late to get over myself.

(And let me be perfectly clear.  "Abusive parent" does NOT include a parent you disagree with, don't like, think is lazy, wish had different habits, share different beliefs than, doesn't reach out to you, doesn't call YOU every day, doesn't look after YOUR needs anymore, and who takes a lot of energy and effort to be around.  You're no picnic either.)

Now....I need to go call Mama.