The Monsters in Disguise

I wonder how many of you out there realize there are monsters walking around beside you in your everyday life. These are people who are angry, irrational, rude, mean, and sometimes violent. I'm one of these monsters.

Without the aid of what I call my "Happy Pills," I am indeed a monster of great proportions. We're talking hairy face, long fangs, sharp claws...the works. Doctors call it depression with an emphasis on anger. I call it a pain in the neck. If I miss so much as one dose, I'm in danger of exploding. As long as I'm faithful, the pharmacy is faithful, the doctor's office is faithful...all goes well. But one little slip-up and I'm a freaking catastrophe.

There was one of these said slip-ups recently. If I refill my medicine too early, the insurance won't cover it. There's this small window of time during which I can refill it, have it covered, and keep everyone safe from harm. I must've gotten it refilled late last time because I had to wait until the very day I ran out to get the refill this time.

It's usually not a big deal, especially since I ran out in the middle of the week. Everyone's still working...no holidays or weekends to wait through. I just ran to the pharmacy and asked for a refill.

Well.

The doctor requires you to come in for an evaluation every year or so. On the prescription bottle, you see a little date at the bottom that explains you may have "x" number of refills until such-n-such date, at which time you will have to go in for that evaluation. Somehow, I'd let that time lapse WITHOUT the ever-loving evaluation. My doctor knows me very well and I can usually just call him and say, "I'm still mad as a hatter. Refill?" And it's all okay.

This time the pharmacy assured me it would be no problem for them to the call the doctor and have it all ready for me by the afternoon.

It wasn't.

And it still wasn't ready the next day.

Life goes on around us, with or without monster-preventing medication and that's exactly what happened this time. Life. There were things that needed attending to and these things completely took my mind off of the pharmacy for a few days. We headed into the weekend and then, my friends, all bets were off on me making it through unscathed.

I absolutely melted down. I don't exactly know why, but something made me start yelling and I'm pretty sure I didn't stop for 24 hours or so. Yelling. Crying. Yelling. Crying. Yelling some more. My poor family.

The fire coming out of the top of my head was NOT the Holy Spirit and only caused anyone close to me to burn horribly. I was a monster.

Well, I called my doctor's office and they told me NEVER to depend on the pharmacy to refill this delicate of a medication and I had that medication in my hands within a few hours. The monster is buried deep within me once again.

But I know it's there. And that's what bothers me. Without medication, I am none of the things my husband loves about me. Without medication, I am not even accessible to my children. Without medication, I forget God is here and ready to help me.

I hate the monster. I will live with it and fight it every day of my life. But I will never love it.

There are monsters walking among us. I'm one of those monsters.

Entertaining Guests

Saturday evening we had our good friends, the Toyes, over for dinner. This was a WONDERFUL time of visiting and playing and laughing. However, dinner was not what I expected at ALL!

I consider myself to be a somewhat okay cook. I enjoy cooking and often experiment on dishes. I learned long ago NOT to make an experimental dish when cooking for company. So, fighting the urge to be creative, I decided to make "Chicken Stuff" (this is our family's variation on "Poppy-seed Chicken"), rice, and mixed veggies. Simple, right? I've been making this meal for years. I could do it blindfolded, in the woods, while on medication. Perfect plan for company. It's yummy, and I don't have to worry about glitches.

There were glitches.

I was in the middle of making the chicken dish when I realized I was out of one of the ingredients! This is a staple in my pantry that I'm NEVER without! Good grief. Well, some substitution did the trick and I was back on track. Then, I accidentally mixed two kinds of rice together so that half didn't cook at all and the other half OVER-cooked!! AAAAGH! Who can't make rice?! I've been making rice for years and years!! Good! Grief!

This threw me into such a tizzy that I completely forgot to put the vegetables on at all until just a few minutes before our friends' arrival. *sigh* I put them on, but they didn't get soft enough for my liking. I was so utterly deflated that I forgot at this point to even SEASON the rice and vegetables! Gross!

I served everything anyway and everyone was gracious...it just shows I'll never be prideful about my cooking!! Never!

Stupid rice.

At least dessert was perfect. That's probably because it hadn't encountered my kitchen. Kim Toye brought it from HER kitchen. Thanks, Kim. That peach pie saved the evening! :)

Well, this is what becomes of going so long without entertaining. Mark and I love to have people over, but we haven't done it since moving to Searcy. Now, we're getting back into it! I'm so excited! Obviously, I'll need lots of practice before we're any GOOD at it...but we're not giving up!

Now...who will our next victims be?...

Catching up...

Has it really been so long since I've blogged? Shameful. It's not as if nothing's been going on. Let's see if I can recap...

In February we got a dog. She's a standard poodle; her name's Maisy (pronounced like daisy, but of course with an "m"); she's still a puppy but is bigger than most grown dogs so she's more than a handful. Why does dog pee smell SO BAD?? I've scrubbed the floor more times than I care to count. But, she's worth it. She's cute and sweet and a great addition to our family. She bites...but she's just playing. She scratches, but surely she'll grow out of that. We love her. We do!

In March, we had birthdays, surgeries, and travel!! The boys each had tubes put in their ears and their tonsils and adenoids taken out. My sister, Kat, came up and helped with their recovery during HER birthday. The boys didn't recover as quickly as we'd thought, but they are finally feeling great!

We celebrated Maggie's birthday in Tulsa this year (same as last year). Her birthday falls during Spring Break and also is simultaneous with the Tulsa Workshop...Mark always has a Harding booth at the workshop...so we all went with him. My parents and Mark's parents, as well as my sister!, joined us and we had a long weekend of fun. :) There was great food, Chuck E. Cheese, gifts, and lots of rest. Wonderful! (Did I mention that, just before the trip, I took my own trip to the E.R.? Not as fun as Tulsa.)

Since Maggie didn't get to celebrate her birthday with her friends, we had a "friends" party in April. In fact, this was just this past Friday night. A few girlfriends came over (plus one mom I couldn't have done this without! Thanks, Kim!) and we partied in true giggly-girl fashion. It was a "Pretty Pink" party. Everyone wore pink, the house was decorated in pink, the cupcakes were pink, and during the Barbie movie, as we sat eating pizza and giggling some more, I did the girls' hair one by one...bling-string and pink hairspray. The girls hounded Mark until I sprayed his hair too. We were all pinked out.

And worn out.

And now you're all caught up!