Save Yourselves

Top Ten Reasons To Finish College While Still Young Instead Of Coming Back At 40:

10.  Odds are you won't be older than your professor....your advisor....all the kids in your class.

9.  Your distractions can be summed up by your social life instead of by housework and kids.

8.  Your jokes will be understood by your classmates instead of you having to explain things like what "Wang Chung" is or who Alex P. Keaton is.

7.  You won't be frustrated or annoyed by stupid questions from your classmates....because they probably won't seem stupid.  (i.e., "So, how many questions will there be and how many can I miss and still pass?")

6.  Your body-chemicals are still functioning normally and walking across a campus in the heat and humidity in order to get to your next class on time doesn't leave you heaving and sweating profusely by the time you enter the classroom.

5.  You will understand all technology without batting an eye....instead of having to enlist the help of your 8-year-old to navigate the school website.

4.  Bad grades roll off your back instead of plaguing you into the night.

3.  Your thoughts range as far as the next hour instead of having to plan and organize a month in advance so your kids have meals, your husband has clean clothes, the house isn't disgusting and you have five minutes here and there to work on school-work.

2.  Your dreams are still in their first phase...instead of the third phase, which is "Okay, I'm never going to be that so I need to concentrate on this."

1.  The number one reason you should stay in college while you're young instead of trying to muddle through as a middle-aged adult is this... You're able to start over multiple times, change your major, try different things, without the loud ticking of a clock in your head.  You have forever ahead of you.  Everything is possible.

No Right Answers

In light of the recent passing of celebrity Robin Williams, I felt the need to rehash some of the old frustrations regarding misconceptions about depression.  Robin Williams was a depressed individual.  I don't know his heart; nor do I know for sure the details of his death.  I know that he is reported to have been an alcoholic and used to abuse cocaine.

I also know he was hilarious.  His gift for comedic presence was beyond most I've ever witnessed and I always looked forward to whatever was going to come out of his mouth next.  God gave him a unique gift that Williams used to lighten the moods of the depressed around the world.  If you never laughed with Robin Williams, then you truly missed greatness.

But he was depressed.  As a person suffering clinical depression myself, I didn't blink at this.  However, I know for many, there was a reaction of, "What did he have to be depressed about?  He had everything!  A family, more money than he even knew what to do with, talent, fame..."  This is what I want you to hear.  If you read no further or blank out for the rest of this message, hear this.  Depression is not about what you do or do not have.  Buying the right house, receiving the right paycheck, marrying the right person....none of these things matter regarding depression.

If your spouse was diagnosed with diabetes, would you say, "Why do you have diabetes?  What could you possibly be lacking in your life?  What do you want...a new house?  A new life?"  No.  You'd get the proper insulin or prescription necessary and help your spouse deal with it.  If your mother was diagnosed with cancer, would you respond with, "Why would you choose to have cancer?  There are so many reasons not to have it!"  Nope.  Again, you'd see it as a battle to fight against.

Depression is not the fault of the one who has it.  Sometimes there are chemical remedies that help.  Therapy, support groups, books, music...tons of help out there.  But nothing that I've found or researched actually takes it away.  God can.  God can completely deliver a person of any affliction.  I do not pretend to know God's plan or why He does or does not cure this person as opposed to that person.  His plan is perfect and we are to simply know that sometimes we do not get to know.

Back to depression.  It exists.  It is real.  And it is something that will plague a person in the most unexpected situations.  It is not the same as being in a bad mood.  Grieving, sadness, discouragement, disappointment, loss, rejection, devastation, etc...  These are emotional phases.  These are things people can go through.  They are awful and must be dealt with.  They can lead to depression.  But they are not depression.  Why?  Because there is a reason behind each of the emotions/situations listed above.  For depression, there doesn't have to be any known rhyme or reason; sometimes it's not possible to look back and pinpoint an exact moment when depression set in.

I mentioned that I am depressed.  Right this very minute, I'm feeling pretty great.  My boys are playing the wii; my daughter is enjoying one of the last mornings of summer to sleep in; my husband just left for work; and I just had a conversation with my bathroom scales about what numbers need to show up.  Good day.  However, there have been days where all I want to do is crawl back under the covers and cry and sleep.  It can be a day where my children are singing, my husband is cooking and cleaning, the sun is shining, there's nothing but fun on the calendar.  And I am feeling the weight of depression heavily on my heart.

My husband used to ask me, "What do you think is wrong?  Did you have nightmares?  Are you upset about something?"  Now he knows.  There's no answer.  So now he says, "I'm sorry, Honey.  No worries.  You sleep.  Tell me if you want me to hold you while you have a good cry.  You're not disappointing anyone or letting anyone down.  No one is upset with.  We love you.  I'll pray the 'black cloud' (as I call it) leaves quickly."  THIS is the right answer.

Depression can be debilitating.  At the risk of sounding like a public service announcement or the voice at the end of an After School Special, if you or someone you know is sad a lot with no obvious reason, get help!  It's out there.  In fact, look beside you next time you're at church, at the store, on a bus, taking a walk... you'd be surprised who else out there is dealing with the same thing.