Spit-Up, Sex, and Other Stay-At-Home Mama Stuff

I saw a random article about how there is a rise in stay-at-home moms recently.  I was so excited!  I make no apologies for my belief that moms staying at home with their children during crucial years is the best way to raise healthy, successful families.  A rise!  That's great!  So, I searched for more articles.  All I found were statistics telling me that the only reason there is a rise in mothers choosing to stay home with their children is because of poverty, can't find a job, going back to school (so they can have a job), disabilities, and other reasons why they wish they could work outside the home but can't.  Talk about crestfallen!

What happened to taking pride in the home?  I don't mean the kind of pride that goes before the fall.  I mean the kind where you have self-respect for knowing you are doing your best for our family.  Before your feathers are completely ruffled, let me also say that I respect working mothers.  I know that in today's economy, two paychecks can go a long way toward raising children in a positive environment.  Just because I'm for moms staying home doesn't mean I'm against moms working.

How can this be, you ask?  I am against moms resenting their lots in life.  I have to stay home.  I have to work.  The family can feel this.  You've all heard the saying if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!  This is so true.  The children can sense your anxiety, anger, bitterness, depression, etc.  The younger the child, the more likely he/she will blame themselves for your unhappiness.  It's important that you find a way to own your role.  If staying home with your children makes you feel like you're not pulling your weight, you're wasting your degree, you're not really working, etc, then instead of finding another role for yourself, simply change your way of thinking and become the best stay-at-home mom you can be.

Where I am not against working mothers, it isn't where my passion is.  I want to open the eyes of all the mothers out there who have chosen to stay home, and perhaps give them the validation they've been craving.

I am here to encourage you.  You are doing a great work by staying home with your children.  They may not thank you for it, but you will see the rewards as they grow.  When a parent stays home to take care of kids and house, the home becomes a safe haven.  Sometimes we mothers feel like just another fixture on the wall that everyone takes for granted.  Everyone just assumes supper will be ready when they come to the table.  Everyone simply expects clean underwear in their drawer, enough snacks in the cabinet, clean dishes. And, although you may smell like spit-up, can't remember your last shower, and fell asleep at the dinner table, let's be honest.  Your husband simply expects you to be "in the mood" when you come to bed.

What if this wasn't the case?  What if everyone in the house had to fend for themselves?  Would your children rush through the door after school, talking, smiling, and looking forward to their afternoon if they had to forage and make their own snacks, wash the dishes, make supper, and do the laundry?  Would your husband leave the office at 5:01 and hurry home with a smile on his face if he knew that there was no supper waiting on the table for him?  That, no matter how tired he was, he'd have to wash, dry, and iron tomorrow's work clothes?

Sometimes this way of life is just the way it goes.  I was very sick early in my marriage and there were times when Mark and the kids did have to "take over" the housework.  They did it willingly and lovingly, but I always felt an undercurrent of stress wafting from them.  I also saw how tired they became; how more arguments broke out, less meals took place around the table, how much less my husband smiled.  They did not realize this.  They were doing their best to take up the slack.  When I was recovered and began to pick up my old responsibilities again, there was a noticeable shift in attitude throughout the house.  It's as if everyone sighed with relief all at once.  Again, they didn't seem to notice this.  But I did.  I may be invisible some of the time and taken for granted.  But I'm necessary.  Moms are necessary.

This is only one of many blogs to come on this subject.  I welcome your input.  Remember today to look at your role as one of importance and own it!