Therapist in the Making

I finally know what I wanna be when I grow up! A helper. Mediator. Guide. Teacher. I want to be a professional, clinical therapist. Doesn't that sound exciting? It fits me. I'm all about being in other people's business. I spoke yesterday with Dr. Beth Wilson in Harding's Family Consumer Science Department. With her guidance and encouragement, I was able to map out a tentative plan towards a Bachelor's degree in Family Life Education. This degree will allow me to work as any number of a variety of positions, such as Case Worker, University Teacher, Director of Parent Services, Family Advocate, Family Specialist, Life Skills Specialist and Youth Counselor, while I continue on to get my Master's. Fun!! Starting in August, I'll hopefully be taking FCS 100, FCS 205, and FCS 322. Now, for the flip side of the coin. Me as the client. My own therapy sessions continue to help me and grow me into the person I've always been. That sounds weird, I know. Different people categorize healing in different manners. Let's see. If I was a free spirit/modern day hippie, I'd say, "I'm finding myself." An accountant, "I'm getting all my ducks in a row." A teacher, "I'm realizing my potential." A carpenter, "I'm strengthening my foundation." A doctor, "I'm self-medicatng the emotional wounds with a healthy regimen of therapeutic instruction." A teenager, "Dude. Right?" A politician, "In the interest of my voters, I'm applying character-building techniques with dedication and a hope for a better tomorrow." A housewife, "I should probably be doing a load of laundry and I realize dinner will be late, but if I don't get a handle on things, I'm gonna hurt somebody." A man, "Therapy? Nope. Just mandatory assessment." A woman, "I'm allowing my inner-self to recieve the attention I deserve and am sure the results are being noticed by everyone!" A comedienne, "Therapy, schmerapy. I just like the coffee and donuts they serve in there!" A kid, "I'm getting help. When I need help I ask for it. Don't you?" So you see, I'm healing. I'm healing and literally feeling more whole everyday. I am so proud of all of you who are also healing. Stay tuned for more about this healing process...next week we're going to touch on the topic of family dynamic!

The Right Now

Sometimes we get caught up in life. We set rules, goals, plans, boundaries. We record events, keep scrapbooks, take pictures, write journals. We fill our calendars, day planners, vacation time, weekends. All this can be wonderful; and certainly the intentions are admirable. There are moments however when our efforts turn around and stung us. We stress about broken rules, missed goals, cancelled plans, ignored boundaries. We lament forgotten video cameras, unfinished scrapbooks, dead camera batteries, weeks-behind journal entries. We begin to dread our calendar and the day's events and feel tired with our to-do lists. While on vacation, we think ahead to all that will have to be done when we get home. The lives we create for ourselves have every tendency to strangle the life right out of us. There's a Creator who's got it all under control. We need to enjoy the right now! It's hard but fantastic!

The Nutshell

I haven't stopped blogging...just took a break. To catch you up, we'll go over the past few weeks. Ready? Buckle up... Wonder if I have what it takes to go back to school and actually pursue what I intended to when I started college back in '94. Is Maggie really old enough to go to camp...for a whole week...in another state?? Who's that at the door...neighbor guy holding 9-mo-old grandbaby. Can I babysit? Of course. Bye, PaPa. Cute thing. Crying. Crying. Crying. Are you kidding me? Ah. Asleep. Whoops!!! Okay, I won't put you down! Five hours later...bye, baby. What? Will I babysit all week? Sure. Sweet baby. Where's Mama? In jail. Ah. Keep baby until you can bail her out? Yep. Doing very little in the way of preparing for Maggie to go to camp...and both boys to stay with grandparents. Not overwhelmed not overwhelmed not overwhelmed. Sort laundry with baby on hip...been awhile since I've done that. Can I handle all three of my kids being in a whole other state for a week? Can they handle it? Am I purposely obsessing over this to keep myself from thinking about going back to school? Back to school. That used to mean new clothes and shoes, new pencils, fresh notebooks, highlighters... Now it's iPads, MacBooks, and homework online! Am I too old for this? Bye, baby. Tired. Leaving for Iowa tomorrow and have done nothing but hold baby all week. Baby whose mama is still a baby herself and doesn't know yet if she wants to be a mama at all. Baby whose grandpa said he wished they could just give baby to me. Holding baby wasn't a waste of time. Driving to Iowa. 9 hours. Losing voice from reading outloud to family. My favorite thing to do. Taking Maggie to camp. Making her top bunk. Trying to make it comfy and big-girl and don't cry don't cry don't cry. Seeing a group of girls go by and remembering how mean and nasty girls can be. Feeling punched in the stomach. Smile. Bye, Maggie. Waiting until safely out of her sight to bawl my eyes out. Leaving boys with grandparents. Hugs. Kisses. Driving away. Bawling again. Talk to boys on the phone that night...stinkers aren't missing us at all! Home. Quiet home. Just Mark and me. Feeling sick. Make cookies and write notes to put in a carepackage for Maggie. Feeling sicker. Wondering if I'm who I thought I'd be at 38. In bed all next day feeling awful. Today. Everything is bright. Got text from friend who's camp nurse saying Maggie already has a best friend and is doing great. I feel great. Walk a mile. Sit down and have a firm talk with myself. I can do this. I will start school in the Fall and complete my journey toward becoming a therapist. Things are as they should be. I am blessed. I am healthy. I am getting up after submitting this blog and I will clean my house! What have you firmly talked to yourself about lately?