Fiction For Friends

Well, here's something.  This is a fluffy, romantic, silly story that I play with when I have writer's block from writing my real project. Please disregard typos and grammatical errors. Because this is my brain-candy piece, I don't bother with combing through it obsessively.  Enjoy....this is the first chapter.  Also, I'll be taking ideas for titles!

                She shouldn't have said it.  She shouldn't have said anything.  But she had.  And now she had to follow through.  What had been her motivation?  Impressing Philip or finding Brady?  A morning of questions, a burned-down barn, and now the bride was missing.  Well, she'd turn up.  She always had been a diva.  Brady Kenton would never stay missing long enough to actually worry people.  She'd show up at just the right time, giving everyone a thrill of relief, and assuring herself of at least a month's worth of attention.  And in the meantime, it was up to Fiona to pick up the pieces.  Fiona Kenton, sister to the diva,  was fed up.  As soon as Philip had shown up at the church that morning, Fiona had known something wasn't right.

                She'd left Brady at the inn knowing she wouldn't be missed amongst the oohing and aahing over her dress and hair and jewels and tried to beat everyone to the church that morning in hopes of some peace and quiet before the big event.  Philip had shown up only moments after her.  He'd found her sitting quietly in one of the middle church pews, head bowed, hands folded.  He'd stood silently still until he saw that she'd finished her prayer and then he quietly asked, "Everything alright?"

                Fiona had jumped slightly.  She'd been so caught up in her prayer and her thoughts that she'd almost forgotten her surroundings.  She'd looked up into Philip's beautiful blue eyes and said, "Yes.  Everything's wonderful.  Just praying for the happy couple."  Lie.  Lie.  Lie.  Well, she had been praying for them...to never get married.  To realize they were totally wrong for each other.  To part friends and encourage each other to move on.  To awaken to the reality that it was she, Fiona, who belonged with Philip Arber.  Philip Arber, handsome, successful, tender --

                "Fi, are you okay?  You look a little...dazed."  Philip had stepped closer and laid the back of his hand on Fiona's forehead.

                She jumped again.  To feel his touch.  To see the concern for her in his eyes.  She'd almost allowed a sigh of pleasure to escape her lips.  She'd shaken herself back to the moment at hand.  Philip's wedding .  Philip's and Brady's wedding.  She had backed away a little and said, "I'm just excited for the both of you.  Where's Brady?  Didn't she ride with you to the church?"  It had been just like her sister to insist on doing away with silly traditions like the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding.  They had planned to ride to the church together but Philip had arrived alone.

                Philip had looked questioningly at Fiona and asked, "She's not already here?  She left a note saying she came to the church early with you!"

                That was when Fiona's stomach had done a dive.  For the next three hours, as people arrived at the church, search parties were formed, phone calls were made, and the panicked chaos of a missing bride ensued.  Fiona had asked Philip to accompany her to the barn where they'd planned to hold the reception in hopes of finding Brady there.  When the two had gotten there, they found the place engulfed in flames.  Philip had completely broken down.  Fiona had called the authorities and after a thorough dousing and professional search, she had been assured there'd been no one inside the barn.  Wherever Brady was, it hadn't been in the church nor the barn.  And while everyone else was beside themselves with worry, Fiona could feel nothing but anger.

Interested?

If I were to be working on a piece of fiction, how many of you would want to read it?  Would you buy it?  I mean, do you read fiction?  Would you want me to blog the chapters?  I'm just throwing this out there.  I'm kind-of in a funk and writing fiction usually gets me right out.  So, I thought if I DID write something, maybe there's someone out there who'd like to peruse it.  :)

Short Sermon. :)

How many of you went to bed last night (Saturday) with the commitment of going to church?  How many of you followed through with it this morning?  If you did, GREAT JOB!!  If you didn't, THERE'S STILL TIME!!  And while you wait for the next church time to roll around, don't beat yourself up.  God is not as hard on you as you are on yourself!  And just because you missed service this morning doesn't make you a bad Christian.
Now, let's talk about how many you've missed.  Two Sundays?  Twenty?  Couple of years since you've been in a church pew?  Guess what...still not too late.  Go.  Just make yourself go ten times in a row (if at all possible) and then tell me how you feel.  Go ahead...start this evening!
You are LOVED!!

Resolving Resolution Relapse

Do you love making New Year's Resolutions?  Do you dread it?  Do you even do it?  I used to love it.  Then I dreaded it.  Then I considered not even doing it.  But then I realized something.  I'm the boss of it.  I'm the one deciding what the resolutions are so why can't I also decide when they take place?  Here's what I have discovered about myself.  When I begin making my list of resolutions, I get carried away.  I begin to even organizing resolution themes and sub-resolutions.  For example, "Get Organized"...well, that begs detail so I then list sub-resolutions under this resolution theme: "Bedroom, Shed, Drawers, Cabinets, etc..."  You see where this is going.  Overwhelming to say the least.  Overwhelming...stressful...impossible!  Before January 2nd, I'm already a failure.  Great way to start the year, yes?  Ugh!

So, I have tried the past few years to relax and stay general; "Lose Weight, Keep House Clean, More Family Time, Read Bible More, etc..."  But even this gets to be too much.  If I'm not a master at all of the above by the middle of February, I consider it all undo-able and give up.  (Y'all know I'm an extremist)  So how is it possible to have resolutions without setting myself up for disappointment?  How do I keep resolutions healthy and thriving throughout the year?

This year, I'm trying something new.  This is probably not a new idea to many of you.  I'm a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to self-improvement so I fully expect you to have a "duh!" reaction to my exciting revelation.  But here it is.  I first will make my list of resolutions.  I even allow myself to go crazy with it.  Don't stop at ten...or twenty...just write until I've mapped out the path to perfection.  Then, I prioritize.  If I could only achieve twenty-four of these things this year, what should those twenty-four be?  Then I prioritize again.  What, of the twenty-four, should be the first two?

I concentrate on only those two resolutions for the month of January.  February, I add two more.  March, two more.  See?  See how I'm taking baby-steps instead of demanding so much from myself right off the bat?  Is this how resolutions are being done around the world?  Am I the only one just now realizing the genius of this month-by-month concept?  Well, I don't mind.  I'm just excited to have stumbled onto the idea at all.  So, this month, January, the first of the twelve of 2014, I'm working on two resolutions: Spiritual and Health improvement.  I've only allowed two steps per resolution (Attend church every possible chance I get and read my Bible every day; Exercise at LEAST three times a week and make better food-choices).  That's it.  Reckon I can handle that?  We'll see.

At least I'm still feeling excited instead of stressed out already.  January is supposed to be a time of fresh renewal.  It is the "Monday" of the New Year.  It is that day we all begin anew.  I pray all of you press on with your self-improving and see yourselves as victors rather than failures.  We are in this New Year together.  Let's do this!

The Truth About Santa Claus

The years are quickly dwindling away.  Soon, my children will know the truth about Santa.  But there's a question in itself.  What is the truth about Santa?  Every year there are outcries from all walks of life about how the idea of Santa Claus is just a deception.  That those of us who "practice" the Santa magic are only setting our children up for mass disappointment and ultimate bitterness.  Well, that's scary.  I certainly don't want to embitter my children.  In fact, my intentions to begin with, when first inviting Santa into our lives, was simply to establish a tradition much like that my husband and I grew up with.  I had hoped to add joy and wonder to my kids' Christmas memories.  If what I've done will only lead to those memories crashing and burning, then I guess I've got some major re-planning ahead of me!

So, as you all can guess, I did some research.  The first thing I did was call my mother.  I don't remember being bitterly disappointed.  I know that there was the moment of discovery, but my memories of Christmas are all still intact.  My mother shared with me her painstaking plans of bringing the magic to all six of her children; how, as a parent, the magic of Christmas is wrapped up in the child...just as the magic for the child is wrapped up in however the parent presents it (presents...not presents...as it were).

Yes, this rang true for me.  My mother made Christmas at our house look like something Currier and Ives would paint and Cindy Lou Who would envy.  It is this pattern that I've striven to carry through to my children's experiences.  So, what is it about Santa?  Would my Christmases have been just as joyous and magical without him?  I don't know.  Somehow I don't think so.

So, I asked parents who do NOT "do" Santa.  One parent said he simply doesn't like the idea of some fictional guy getting the credit and thanks for gifts he bought.  Another parent was intensely worried about the fact that Santa is a lie.  Still another parent said she was so heartbroken and devastated to learn that Santa isn't real that she just couldn't do that to her children.

These are all valid points.  I needed to take them into consideration.  I spent a lot of time in prayer over this.  At first, I felt really strange praying to God about whether or not I should lie to my kids.  I mean, that's pretty-much a no-brainer.  So, no lying.  Okay.  Got it.  So I tell my kids there's no Santa and we go from there.  I was so sad.  I spent the next week or so completely depressed.  It was as if a light inside me had burned out.  I was disappointed in myself for having put so much of my energy into the Santa lie. 

But wait.  What if it's not a lie?  What if Santa is real?  I mean....what if?  I'm not talking about a 1500 year old elf who talks to reindeer and wears a red suit.  I went back to my earlier question...would Christmas have been as magical for me growing up without Santa?  No.  No it would not.  So looking back, knowing my parents were "playing" Santa, I began to realize something.  My parents WERE Santa.  Santa is not a person!  Santa is the magic of Christmas!  Whoever bestows that magic upon you for your Christmas morning is Santa! 

When teaching our children to do chores, we sometimes help them without letting know we're really doing it for them.  We let them receive the credit.  We praise them for a job well done even though we know good and well that we're the ones who straightened the sheets and adjusted the pillows.  It's because we're training them.  We have to ease them into it.  We begin teaching them to do things on their own by first building within them the desire to work and the joy of completion. 

That's Santa.  My children are growing up in a world that will tell them over and over that God doesn't exist.  That there is no such Being who hears our requests, grants miracles, and is never seen.  Who does THAT sound like?  Before you start stoning me, I'm not going so far as to say that Santa is God and that I'm trying to be God by playing Santa.  No, no, no.  Hear me.  I'm saying that I must find a way to build a foundation of faith inside my children so strong as to withstand the nay-sayers as they grow in their relationship with God.

Teaching them that there are wondrous things that are not seen...that must simply be believed in...this is important.  As their faith in God grows, they realize that they must be active in that faith.  They must do His good works.  Just like how one day, they will "play" Santa for their children.  They will pass on this faith-training in order to show their children that wonder and joy and magic do exist within us.

I've come to the conclusion that Santa is not only a good part of Christmas, but a requirement!  And guess what.  Even if you don't "do" Santa, if you've brought anyone any happiness at all during this holiday season, you actually are Santa.  Do not be afraid to spread joy, love, peace, and kindness this Christmas season.  In doing so, you are not only spreading Christmas magic, you are teaching the fruits of the Spirit.  Santa can be what you make him.  I hope all of you meet Santa this year and welcome him into your homes.

Merry Christmas!!

Family Planning

No, not birth control, etc...  I mean literally planning with/for your family!  Do you?  Are you good at it?  Are you consistent?  Are your ideas popular?  Are your family plans successful? 

If you answered "no" to any of the above, please know that you are not alone...and keep reading!

The Number One rule to making plans for your family is this:
"I will not always get it right, but I will never stop trying."

Don't set yourself for a catastrophic heartbreak by automatically assuming that every family activity is going to be "Happy Days" and "Leave it to Beaver" rolled into one.  Sometimes, they're more "Three's Company" and "All in the Family"!  The question is not, will I succeed?  The question is, how can I make this as positive as possible?  And you must NEVER allow yourself to stop trying to add quality to your family by making plans...creating traditions!

The Number Two rule when planning for your family is this:
"I will do my best, even when I don't feel like it."

Being consistent is so important!  The moments we do NOT plan for our family or follow through on plans make more of an impact than the actual plans do at times.  And, more times than not, you'll feel like doing it after you've gotten involved.  I remember our kids used to want to play Candyland every Family Night.  This game can go on forever!  I was always tired and dreaded these evenings.  But most of the time, the evenings were quite enjoyable.  Sometimes they weren't.  During these times, I would inform my husband (privately, of course) that I wasn't "into it" and he would help move things along and kind of buffer the annoyances.  There were times when I thought, "Why are we even doing this?  Everyone's cranky and I just want to go to bed."  But now, looking back, I can see MANY reasons why following through, like it or not, was the right decision. 

Rule Number Three (and the final rule I'll share today) is this:
"All must be involved!"

This is a toughy.  Especially when there are such age differences in your children.  But it's not Family Night if someone is left out.  That's where you get creative.  Get your kids' input!  They have wonderful ideas and I know they're bursting to tell you what they want to do!  Your job is simply to do it!  It's hard at times, but always rewarding.  The reasons are great and many for doing this.  Family Night doesn't have a formal event.  It can just be 30 minutes of sitting in the floor playing with blocks!  (And this is something we've done with our kids being older!)

For one thing, it sets the expectation...the standard.  I was teased a bit by a friend because she knew that we had our Family Nights every week.  She said, "What makes it Family Night?  I mean, your kids are all so young, you're together every night anyway!"  She had a point.  How was this different than any other night of us being together?  Here are the three main reasons to institute Family Night (or whatever you wish to call it) once a week, no matter how old your children are or even if you do not HAVE children yet.

1.  The Standard
As I mentioned above, a standard is set in place when you deem a certain night to be set apart from other nights in the week.  Your discipline to do this now will instill the expectation in your children that this is simply the way it is.  When they are old enough to be out of the house, have their own plans, be "too cool" for board games, etc, they will automatically know that this night is non-negotiable.  "We've always done it."  "It's always been this way."  That's worth doing it now!  If you're starting later in the game, you will need to have a discussion with your children about how this is a no-joke, deal-breaker, too-bad-you're-doing night!

2.  The Message
My friend who pointed out that we were all together every night anyway was right....but also wrong.  Being in the same house does not mean being together.  Most often, we are all involved in different activities and in our own worlds.  Making the effort to put those worlds aside in order to do a joint activity sends the message to every family member that they are the most important thing in your life.  For my husband to cancel a meeting or step away from something important just to sit and put together a puzzle with us is HUGE.  Hearing my daughter tell her friend, "No, I can't that night.  It's Family Night at our house," is music to my ears!  This is a lifelong message that no future hurt will ever be able to take away.

3.  The Precious
My friends, it is the simple and sad truth that, at any moment, our precious loved ones can be taken from us.  Do not wait.  Start right now building a foundation of priorities and bonding that will comfort you and them later.  The memories begin right this minute.  Good or bad, you are creating memories RIGHT NOW.  Make the most of it!!

There are more reasons, but these are the top three.  I'll tell you some of the activities we've enjoyed:

Pirates!  One evening, the children and I dressed as pirates and "lay in wait" for Mark to get home from work.  As soon as he pulled in the drive, we accosted him and bound his hands (I took the laptop and briefcase for safety) and led him to our ship (the couch)!  We held him down and drew a mustache on him, put a bandanna on his head and then made him walk the plank (an imaginary place where one could fall on a pile of pillows).  Then, after all having a turn or two at the plank, we ate our meal....Fish Sticks of course!  This was done when the children were very small and most of our little pirates were in nothing but diapers and bandannas!

Another time we played "Restaurant". This is one of the kids' favorites.  I print up a menu of food choices (excellent for when you want to get rid of your leftovers) and a few drink choices (if you have something other than water...if not, just list water different ways.  Drinks:  Clear Wonder, Invisible Energy, or Water....see...it's ALL water!).  Anyway, we have music playing and Mark dances with all three of the kids while they wait to be seated...then they all order from the menu and we eat...we dress up, light candles, make the table pretty, etc...it's so easy and so fun!  (It offers you opportunities as well to teach table manners!!)

Once we had a talent show.  This was hilarious.  It was impromptu so no one had anything planned.  We simply said, do something!  And we all did.  You will be proud and amazed at your children's spontaneous talents!  When they were older, we each drew a family member's name from a hat and had to act out that person while everyone tried to guess who we were.  It's fun to see how your children portray you!

The point is, do something!  It is never too early.  It is never too late.  Your family is a gift to you and you have so many opportunities to give back to them.  Our next Family Night?  Thanksgiving, of course!  Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and my prayers for you to experience much in the way of family togetherness!

Dear Mrs. Unloved...

Dear, Mrs. Unloved~

I hesitate even to address this to you in that manner because none of us is unloved.  But it's your moniker of choice and I respect that.

Your letter, groomed and edited for discretion is as follows:

Dear Kim,

I'm writing this email to ask you about love in a marriage.  I've been married to my husband for twelve years and there are a lot of times that I feel like he doesn't love me.  I know he loves me when things are going good and I know he'd never leave me but sometimes if one of us is stressed or in a bad mood I can't feel any love at all.  I guess what I'm asking is is this normal?  Is it really a good marriage if sometimes there's no love?
Signed,
Unloved

My dear, first of all, YES.  Feeling love is going to be the come-and-go feature in your marriage for a lifetime.  The foundation of love never leaves, however.  You have the answer in your heart.  You said to me, "...I know he'd never leave me..."  That is confidence founded on a secure relationship.  That is love.  Love is sometimes invisible because we are looking for it to be a certain shape or color and it isn't any.  It is simply there.  But when all the lights in your marriage seem to be out, look deep into the dark without blinking and you'll find it.  Love will be that tiny candle of security burning with all it's might until the lights come back on.  It will be hard, but during these dry moments you mustn't look to your husband for any kind of emotional sustenance.  You must look to God.  God will fill you up.  And as the emotion of love comes back into your relationship with God, it will inevitably be present in your marriage as well.
I hope this has helped.  Please email me in a month or so and update me!
Love,
Kim