Dear Mrs. Unloved...

Dear, Mrs. Unloved~

I hesitate even to address this to you in that manner because none of us is unloved.  But it's your moniker of choice and I respect that.

Your letter, groomed and edited for discretion is as follows:

Dear Kim,

I'm writing this email to ask you about love in a marriage.  I've been married to my husband for twelve years and there are a lot of times that I feel like he doesn't love me.  I know he loves me when things are going good and I know he'd never leave me but sometimes if one of us is stressed or in a bad mood I can't feel any love at all.  I guess what I'm asking is is this normal?  Is it really a good marriage if sometimes there's no love?
Signed,
Unloved

My dear, first of all, YES.  Feeling love is going to be the come-and-go feature in your marriage for a lifetime.  The foundation of love never leaves, however.  You have the answer in your heart.  You said to me, "...I know he'd never leave me..."  That is confidence founded on a secure relationship.  That is love.  Love is sometimes invisible because we are looking for it to be a certain shape or color and it isn't any.  It is simply there.  But when all the lights in your marriage seem to be out, look deep into the dark without blinking and you'll find it.  Love will be that tiny candle of security burning with all it's might until the lights come back on.  It will be hard, but during these dry moments you mustn't look to your husband for any kind of emotional sustenance.  You must look to God.  God will fill you up.  And as the emotion of love comes back into your relationship with God, it will inevitably be present in your marriage as well.
I hope this has helped.  Please email me in a month or so and update me!
Love,
Kim