Therapy (8 and 9)

Sorry, All! I missed last week's therapy update! It actually goes with this week's so smooshing them together is easy. Last week we discussed my anxiety about attending the first ever Dale Ross Reunion. Y'all know that I was abused by a family member. Well, that person sometimes comes to the BIG family reunion; the reunion that started in 1960 and includes all descendants of my grandparents on my dad's side. Until this year, I'd never missed one. They're fun...swimming, badminton, volleyball, horseshoes, food, an auction, other creative fun stuff like a talent show, scavenger hunt, spoof beauty contests, and so much more. You can take nature walks, ride your bikes, and then enjoy the children's carnival. On Sunday morning we worship together outside. Beautiful! With ten original offspring, and 42 first cousins (all branching out into their own family units) it is always a larger-than-life experience. Who would want to miss that?! I love the activities and the visits with family. New babies, fun stories, important traditions, shared memories. It's always been a highlight of my summer. It's also always been the biggest nightmare. The abuser sometimes attends. Over the years, I've suppressed so much fear, anger, and grief...so many traumatic memories, impulses, and terrors. I developed defenses, coping mechanisms, and a determined numbness. This year, as you know, the internal dam broke and all, ALL, of the junk exploded inside me and, as M.T. said, began to ooze out. It oozed all over Mark and the kids, my health, my church life, my everything. It had to be dealt with. With all of the memories traumatizing me all oVver again, there's no way I could go to the big reunion. Face him? Face some of those who were so hurtful during the abuse at the time? Not on your life. So, my immediate family circled the wagons and came up with a plan that blew my mind. A reunion just for us! It was the perfect idea! We had actually been talking about wanting to do this for years. Now was the perfect time. So, this past weekend, I spent time in a campground in Texas hugging on new babies, sweet nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, my precious mama and step-dad. There was no anxiety. I didn't have to strategically position myself so as not to be groped or "tickled" or "shoulder-massaged." I didn't have to watch my kids like a hawk. I was free! On Sunday morning, as I sat in that campground worshipping God with those I love most in the world, I was overcome with their love for me. They had conjured up a place of peace. They supported me with honest understanding. When they said they'd be there for me it wasn't just lip service. They were THERE!! Yesterday's therapy was all about the weekend in review. I am so blessed!! If you are reading this and thinking you could never have this kind of support, contact me. www.onceuponahousewife@gmail.com You don't have to have a weekend with family. And you don't have to do this alone! You are loved!!