On Behalf of My People...

I've spent 6 weeks sharing with all of you my journey of healing. You've read about my therapy sessions and you've cheered me on. I am constantly spouting phrases like "we're strong!" and "we can do this!" It may seem like I am dressed in armor and battling with my head held high all the time. How discouraging for those of you walking this path with me. At least it would be for me. I don't ever mean to give the impression that this is easy or that I am in a constant state of triumph. Today, on behalf of all those emailing me their personal stories and reading my story for inspiration, I want to share the down-time. Most mornings, I get up grudgingly, get my mug of caffeine, and go sit in the living room. I FaceBook, watch T.V., play word games, and tell my five-year-old "just a minute" a lot. Sometime later, I get dressed in the most comfortable thing handy after assessing if I can go yet one more say without a shower. I make an attempt to do something productive...start a load of laundry, OR a load of dishes, OR put some things away. Then, as my energy is usually shot again by this point, I go back to the living room. I've placed the cheese slices, apples, and bananas where Luke can reach them and get his own snack. He's happy to come talk to sometimes and I usually don't even have to listen. I keep my Bible nearby and force myself to open it at some point and read a verse or two. I watch more T.V. I make myself get Luke lunch. My lunch is usually the same as breakfast...a mug of caffeine. Do you see a theme here? Going through an intense emotional battle can numb your brain to everyday tasks; it can take away all motivation; it messes with your appetite; it makes you exhausted beyond anything you've experienced. For all my sisters out there struggling through the muck to reach healing, it's okay. Allow it. Tap in to the supprt system you have around you and let yourself check-out for a little bit. If you don't have a support system, email me. I am not in a place right now to hold you up, but, Friend, I can introduce you to many who are and will! http://www.onceuponahousewife@gmail.com. I am wearing my armor. I am running head-first into battle. But make no mistake. I am a zombie on even the best days.