Therapy (4)

Ahhhhhhhh. What was life without therapy? First of all, before talking about the actual session, let's cover some basics you should know. If you're thinking about beginning therapy, here is one standard I'd recommend you uphold. It's a deal-breaker. Look up the words "safe" and "haven." Now, when trying out a therapist, you determine if his/her office and demeanor exudes "safe haven." If they do not, this is not the therapist for you. Be discerning. Do NOT, however, be immature and use this "safe haven" measure as an excuse to drop a therapist when really you're just afraid. You can do it! Now, let me share what I've learned about how to get the most out of your therapy experience. Ladies, don't wear eye makeup. I mean, honestly, if you're not crying at some point, you may ask yourself if you're truly opening up. Secondly, wear comfortable clothes. Pajamas are even okay (unless you're in therapy because you have a fear of getting dressed or something). After your sessions, you're going to be tired. Preparing your family's meals ahead of time will help you tremendously those first few days after your session. Enough? You want to get to the juicy stuff? Okay. Yesterday was my fourth session. What I took away that I want to share is innocence. Are you innocent? What about when you were young? 10 years old...innocent? For those of us living as adults who were traumatized as children have generally not ever felt innocent. I remember being five years old, kneeling at my bedside, begging God to forgive me and take away that icky feeling. I didn't know what I felt guilty about, but I felt guilty nonetheless. I spent the rest of my life feeling dirty, ashamed, less-than. And I never could really find the horror that needed confessing. Because, of course, there was no horror for me to confess. The horror that happened did not rest on my shoulders. It was not my decision to do what was done to me. That little girl who was being violated was as innocent as any other little girl. Acknowledging that is HUGE. Take time this week to delve into your past. See yourself with honest eyes. If you're living with memories of childhood trauma, please let go of the guilt inside of you. Wrap the child inside of you up and love her. She is precious. She is innocent.