Thursday, January 9, 2014

Chapter 2 (Part 3)

Again, I know it's messy.  This is like the rough-rough-rough draft that you write while cleaning house and taking care of kids.  Hope it makes sense.

Brady picked another wildflower and started plucking off more petals.  She was way past playing the he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not game.  She knew he loved her.  She'd be more honest asking if she loved him.  She did, didn't she?  Love.  What was love?  Brady took in her surroundings and sighed blissfully at the beauty.  A village in the English countryside; so picturesque and perfect.  Green hills, some with sheep grazing; clusters of trees and clearings full of flowers.  It was absolutely a dream.  She mentally gave herself a pat on the back for choosing such a place for her wedding.
                Her wedding.  She'd felt sure of everything last night until...  She pushed the thought back and forced herself to conjure up a pretend Philip sitting beside her.  What would he say to her right now?  "Brady, we've been so worried about you."  She felt a little knot forming in her stomach.  Why did it bother her to think Philip was worried?  Isn't that what she'd wanted?  But, she felt nervous and...what was that other, foreign feeling?  Guilt!  She felt guilty for running out on her own wedding!  Why?  It was her wedding, after all.  And Philip's, said her conscience.  She knew she'd been foolish to run away, but he'd brought it on himself, right? 
                What would Fiona do, she asked herself for the hundredth time.  She mentally conjured up Fiona but literally waved her hand in front of her to dispel the image as soon as she'd pictured it because of the scowl on her imaginary Fiona's face.  She knew Fiona would be furious at her.  Fiona never ran away.  Fiona the strong; Fiona the honest; Fiona the better-than-everyone.  She wasn't jealous.  Brady knew she was more beautiful and had more popularity than her younger sister.  But for some reason, she'd seen Philip, on more than one occasion, looking at Fiona with an expression akin to worship.  Why didn't he worship Brady?!
                He told Brady he loved her.  And she believed him.  Of course he did.  But he didn't adore her.  Marrying someone who didn't adore her seemed like she was settling.  But she wanted Philip!  Didn't he realize how lucky he was?  Again, the question what would Fiona do popped into her mind.  She knew.  Fiona would pray.
                Brady had prayed on and off throughout her life but didn't see that it did any good.  She made her own blessings.  She believed in God and was faithful in her church attendance.  Her faith surely couldn't be questioned.  But God had made her beautiful and smart and talented, so surely He wanted her to use her gifts however she deemed best for her.  Right?  And what was best for right now?
                Brady thought back to her first date with Philip.  He'd come to the door of her apartment and, when she'd answered, he'd handed her a bouquet of flowers.  She'd literally laughed in his face and said she hadn't realized he was so old fashioned.  Instead of frowning and apologizing, like she'd half-expected him to do, he'd smiled and said, "Well, I am.  Do you have a vase for these?"  That had intrigued her.  A man with self-confidence.  It was almost a challenge.  After several months of dating she'd found herself wanting to please him.  She'd wanted his praise; something he only gave for certain things she did.  He wasn't generous with compliments about her appearance; a first for Brady.
                At first she'd been frustrated.  Didn't he realize the time and effort she put into her physical appearance?  There were beauty regimens, long-researched and put to use in order to maintain her perfect skin, glossy blonde hair, gleaming teeth, and super-model-thin figure!  He did occasionally tell her she looked nice.  Nice?  Her mother looked nice.  Fiona looked nice.  She was stunning!  But when he did praise her, she felt it to her very soul.  The first time had been when she'd helped the little girl in the shopping mall. 
                Philip and Brady had been shopping for Brady a new scarf when this young girl, about seven years old, had walked up to them.  She'd been crying and had looked Brady right in the eye.  One thing Brady Kenton could not ignore was a needy child.  The girl had become separated from mother and Brady and Philip had spent the next half-hour searching for her.  They'd found her and Brady was overwhelmed with the gratitude the distraught mother had bestowed upon her.  But even more exhilarating had been Philip's words.  "That was a very good thing you did for them.  I'm proud of you."

                The memory of the mother and daughter made her stomach knot up again.  Was anyone that concerned about her right now?  Would there be tears of rejoicing when she was found?  Somehow she doubted it.  No one ever really worried about her.  That's why she had to put so much energy into worrying about herself.  

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The Fabulous Five

The Fabulous Five
We strive to make memories that will always lead us into the Light