Power and Peace

Forgiveness is hard. It's something we know we should do and it's something we crave for ourselves...but it's hard. Sometimes it's near-impossible. I used to think that, by my forgiving someone, they were "let off the hook." If I forgive them, they got away with it! They wronged me! They should hurt, feel sorry, be miserable! Forgive them? If I forgive evil people, aren't I saying, "That's okay. I don't mind?" And if I DON'T forgive them, am I holding them in check? Am I controlling their destiny? Am I withholding their happiness? Is my forgiveness so powerful that by NOT granting it, do I in fact deprive the wrong-doer of any goodness? There are so many ways we could go with this topic. Turning the other cheek, seventy-times-seven, love, grace, holding a grudge, etc... Here's where I'm going with it today. Arrogance. Who am I? Who am I to decide anyone's fate? Can I read their hearts? They can't read mine. They don't know my motives or my guilt. They don't know my earnest repentance. So....guess what. I can't know theirs. When the End of Times is upon us, is the Almighty going to pull me aside and ask, "So, Kim. Who should I let in and who should I send to the big fire-hole?" Um. No. No, I don't believe I'll be up there handing out ticket vouchers for the Heaven Express. IT'S NOT UP TO ME!! So, what does it matter whether I forgive or not? Why are we told to do it at all if there's no power in it? No bearing on the end result? Well, there is power. There is end-result-bearing. It just has NOTHING to do with the person we're angry with. Forgiveness is about us. Forgiving other people is for OUR benefit. How? I'm glad you asked... Forgiveness gives peace. Withholding forgiveness creates a black spot on my heart that grows and intensifies causing, not only emotional disturbance, but physical illness. It stops me from living. God says vengeance is His. By forgiving, we are making a statement to God. We are saying, "I HATE what this person has done! I hate it! It hurts! It's awful and I can't wrap my mind around the fact that they did it and are getting away with it! I also trust You, God. I trust that you ALWAYS keep your promises. I trust that vengeance is Yours. I trust that you've got this and I can let go of it." Forgiveness is hard. Sometimes, I have to re-forgive a person over and over. Sometimes, I have to finally just say, "God, please make me forgive this person! It's too hard! I can't seem to do it! Change my heart!" Forgiveness is part of healing; maybe it's the most important part. If you're serious about taking this journey toward healing, you've got to spend some time humbling yourself and letting go. Forgiveness is hard. I know.